Wuttahellitis

my room is kept untidy since a week ago. muahaha. i am facing a chronic desease of brain contraction since last 3 weeks.

it was quite down when seeing my cats, after my cameback... all of them are unwell. fahrin who was the healthiest one, is found half blind... even, his momma, intan is also 'losing' one of her eyes. i can't ever touch them cos they look like aliens with bigger eyes and look so ridiculous! i just can touch them using my feet.. poor them all. the round-eyed tompok is also facing the same problem.. isk3x, her eyes are no more round... look like erra fazira's!

hmm.. being all alone like this make me think about my life. i'd been at many places, saw many faces, learned lots of things.. but i still do not know the truth (the truth is out there, x files, :P). but i do believe that heaven is really under mom's feet. and it's the warmest place. and Allah's bless is not a common thing, it's a gift to the paladins. and to be a paladin is not as simple as a saying or a moving. it's a fight beyond a fight.

life is full of undisclosed things. i really want to reveal everything to myself. see and know about all the things on the Earth. and try to shut my mouth up. i was a gurl with a bad habit that likes to look at others, at their blackside. it was one of my ruefulness. when i experience it myself suddenly i cringed. we are only little ants those are the same, all are black. and we have no right to damn other ants as 'black ants' cos we're black too!

i just wanna know the truth.. the truth of reality. where could i find it? is it in others' brain or deep buried beneath the ground? where is it? argkhh!!! tensi-tensi-hypotensi!