greedy, to be or not to be
i was a bit greedy during my schooltime. i want to get all the A's. even if i was not so bright, but i put my target as high as brilliants and geniuses did. fortunately i got what geniuses did, i got 4A's in my UPSR and 9A's in my PMR. that was because of my greediness. even if i looked kewl, slow, wacky...even after i got my PMR result, someone said "what, that 3-quarter gurl got 9As?". huhu, how could she said that. as the time passed by, i stepped to upper form, and my performance was down. it was because i did not as greedy as before. but my popularity increased, haha!
registered my name as a student of UTP, i was not-at-all-a-greedy! my performance was very low. i was at the bottom of the list. my result was stink. lucky i did not repeat any paper, but it was like stepping on the fences. anytime you could fall down. i rather looked at my friends' list of A's than making my own A's. actually during my very first year, in my second semester i did forecast my result, to make it better, and i did it! but it maintained only for 4 semester later, at my 5th semester, my result dropped down, and down, and down. it was because i let something out of my plan happened. i was like donkey, kept on chasing on carrot, but i was out of my way, or actually i lost my way. something else ruled my life and put me in illusion.
suddenly i woke up. i got the feeling of terrible. i started to open my old diary, there were lots of things i did undone. i started to feel regret. i built back my greed. i grabbed everything i wanted. i let go everything i did not need. it was very good. i was not a donkey that chasing carrot anymore. i hate being a donkey. that time i blamed the world. but world is fair enough. it won't change anything but give us disaster. we are the one who should plan and act to avoid that disaster. that time i kept on asking "why do i have to suffer this damnable life? why me? why i?". but now i know... it was His syllabus to train me. it may because of "do people think that they will left alone because they say 'we believe' and will not be tested(29:2)". everyone of us will be tested, base on how strong our belief is. it's not about the strong believer or a weak believer, but as long as we are believers, we will be tested.
ok let's leave the test for a while, get back to that greediness thing. we were taught that greed is bad. at school, we were taught of the story of 'anjing dengan bayang-bayang'. it is right, but it's a stupid greed. we are given a good brain between our 2 ears, so we should not act like that dog. being greedy is not chasing something we don't have, but optimising what we already have. like that dog story, he chased bone from 'another' dog, forgetting about his own bone, and he lost all the 'bones'. what a loser...
yet, i am happy with my life. i was that donkey, i was that fool dog, and many more, but they were my teachers. whatever happens in our life, sweet, sour, pain, relief, similarity, discrepancy, everything is our good teacher. remember, we learn in different ways... as we thanks teacher after each lesson ends (applicable only at school), we should give priceless thanks to our great Teacher.
last but not least, we should again be greedy, in term of saying thanks to Him.
registered my name as a student of UTP, i was not-at-all-a-greedy! my performance was very low. i was at the bottom of the list. my result was stink. lucky i did not repeat any paper, but it was like stepping on the fences. anytime you could fall down. i rather looked at my friends' list of A's than making my own A's. actually during my very first year, in my second semester i did forecast my result, to make it better, and i did it! but it maintained only for 4 semester later, at my 5th semester, my result dropped down, and down, and down. it was because i let something out of my plan happened. i was like donkey, kept on chasing on carrot, but i was out of my way, or actually i lost my way. something else ruled my life and put me in illusion.
suddenly i woke up. i got the feeling of terrible. i started to open my old diary, there were lots of things i did undone. i started to feel regret. i built back my greed. i grabbed everything i wanted. i let go everything i did not need. it was very good. i was not a donkey that chasing carrot anymore. i hate being a donkey. that time i blamed the world. but world is fair enough. it won't change anything but give us disaster. we are the one who should plan and act to avoid that disaster. that time i kept on asking "why do i have to suffer this damnable life? why me? why i?". but now i know... it was His syllabus to train me. it may because of "do people think that they will left alone because they say 'we believe' and will not be tested(29:2)". everyone of us will be tested, base on how strong our belief is. it's not about the strong believer or a weak believer, but as long as we are believers, we will be tested.
ok let's leave the test for a while, get back to that greediness thing. we were taught that greed is bad. at school, we were taught of the story of 'anjing dengan bayang-bayang'. it is right, but it's a stupid greed. we are given a good brain between our 2 ears, so we should not act like that dog. being greedy is not chasing something we don't have, but optimising what we already have. like that dog story, he chased bone from 'another' dog, forgetting about his own bone, and he lost all the 'bones'. what a loser...
yet, i am happy with my life. i was that donkey, i was that fool dog, and many more, but they were my teachers. whatever happens in our life, sweet, sour, pain, relief, similarity, discrepancy, everything is our good teacher. remember, we learn in different ways... as we thanks teacher after each lesson ends (applicable only at school), we should give priceless thanks to our great Teacher.
"Verily, your Lord is full of grace for mankind, yet most of 'em do not give thanks" (27:73)
last but not least, we should again be greedy, in term of saying thanks to Him.
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